Coin Operated Boy!
by tesuka- chan
Summary: Welcome to the Anime Convention! Makimachi Misao covets the original action figure from the most famous manga of all time: Kodachi. Hilarious situations and misunderstandings lead her to the real thing... the very human Shinomori Aoshi.
1. Automatic Joy

Author's notes: _sigh_ After more than a year of hiatus, I really, really wanted to write something to jumpstart this new year. Haven't written anything substantial for the longest time! I think my writing skills are getting quite rusty. squeak Anyway, hope ya'll enjoy this! This idea has been going around my head for months! Happy reading. ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, nor the song Coin- operated Boy by the Dresden Dolls that inspired me to write this. :D

_-----Coin operated boy/ Sitting on the shelf/ He is just a toy/ But I turn him on/ And he comes to life/ Automatic joy/ That is why I want a coin operated boy-----_

**Coin Operated Boy!**

_By Tesuka- chan_

Chapter 1: Automatic Joy!

He had a lot of things to do. Really.

Okay, maybe not a lot of things, but better and more sensible ones than this. What he was forced into doing now was senseless, unthinkable, and utterly ridiculous. He cannot and will not tolerate this form of torture any longer…

"Heya! How's my man?" Sano, the devil incarnate, grinned (rather evilly) "Enjoying being mauled by the female masses?"

_Are you kidding! _

"…"

"Oh come on, don't tell me you're not liking this one bit? It's every man's fantasy! And you," rooster head patted his shoulder, "are even getting paid for it!"

_GLARE_

Sano chuckled. "Whatever man. You should pay attention to your fans, Shi-no-mo-ri-SAN!" And the chicken cackled away.

He glared at his back. Much as he would like to beat up the guy, it wasn't worth it now. Maybe later. If he didn't need the cash so bad…

"Wow, hey mister, can we take a picture?"

… he sighed, fixed the kodachis attached on his waist and turned around.

_FLASH FLASH_

"He's so hot!"

"He looks just like him!"

"Oh my, how about a kiss, honey bun?"

An eye twitched. He backed away from the homosexual who's just too close for comfort. He never expected it to be this tiring, and the girls along with some of the uncertain gender were very insistent. He backed up again a few steps towards the booth until –

"OUCH!"

* * *

_**A few days ago:**_

"Damn it," he muttered under his breath as he pushed back his chair, took of his glasses and closed his eyes. He was in trouble.

Registration was coming up soon and he barely had enough money to cover two-thirds of his tuition fee, not to mention the pile of bills on his desk waiting to be acknowledged. His part time job at the local paper was not enough to pay for everything. Well, he didn't have any choice. He was laid off at his other job because the company was cost cutting. His editorial work at the university newspaper has no pay. Speaking of which, his editorial cartoon guy just quit and… well, that's another problem for another time. His jaw clenched in frustration. If he could only get a job, even a temporary one just to get through the tuition fee for the next semester, he's pretty sure he can do something about the other bills. He can survive on tea, he supposed. It's not the first time this happened after all. He sighed.

_knock knock_

"Come in."

A tall man with impossibly high hair and a silly grin plastered on his face came in. It was just Sano, his roommate.

"Aoshi, my friend! Oh boy, have I got something for ya!"

Cobalt eyes narrowed in suspicion and a bit of trepidation. The last time he heard those words, he ended up being a bartender in a gay party – with no shirt and only a bow tie and his pants on (barely). He shivered at the thought. He didn't really mind doing odd jobs once in a while, but Sano sure has a knack of getting the REALLY odd ones. He turned back to his table and started opening the bills.

"Don't 'ya give me that look, Shinomori! It's nothing like that fag party, trust me." Sano made his way towards the mini fridge and got a soda. "You know my good friend Katsu, the artist? Well, that manga he wrote suddenly became the biggest thing here in Tokyo." He popped the can open and took a huge gulp, amused eyes directed at his roommate at work. "Now he's gonna have this huge booth in this Anime convention at the campus and he's wondering if you could – "

"Absolutely not." The cold voice stopped him before even he even started asking the favor.

"What? You haven't even heard it yet."

"I think I know what you're talking about." Aoshi shuffled some papers.

"Oh, you mean dressing up as the main character of the most widely read manga in the whole world?" Sano asked, a smirk gracing his features.

"Yes, that. And you're exaggerating about the whole world thing." shuffle

"I might be exaggerating now, but soon enough it will come true," Sano sniffed. "Oh, come on… it's not as bad as you think. There will be lots of fan girls –"

"Under the age of fifteen."

" – and you will actually be fully clothed –"

"With leather strips and tight pants. No thanks."

" – and Katsu said that since you're in a pinch with your money problems and since you're the whole inspiration for the main character anyway, he'll give you one fifth of the money he earns that day…"

"…"

Sano drank the last of his soda, hiding his grin behind the can.

Silence reigned for a few seconds. Sano then crumpled the soda can, tossed it in the garbage and heaved an exaggerated sigh saying, "oh well. Guess I'd have to tell Katsu that you're not interested. Too bad… he was expecting to earn at least 10,000 dollars since he's releasing the next issue that day, not to mention an auction for his one-of-a-kind original stuff."

Aoshi's eye twitch.

The rooster head watched him at the corner of his eye as he slowly sauntered towards the door. "I'll go now so he can find someone to fill your role." He reached for the door handle.

"All right, I'll do it."

Sano grinned widely and have turned towards Aoshi. "Knew you'd see the light! Ya won't regret it!" He sketched a salute and went out in a flash.

Aoshi groaned out loud. Once again, that imbecile managed to manipulate him. If he wasn't that desperate… he sighed and eyed the organized bills on the table. He just had this feeling that he was going to regret this, even more than the gay party. He just had this gut feeling.

* * *

_**Present time:**_

WELCOME TO THE ANNUAL ANIME FAIR!

"KAWAIII!" Misao exclaimed, huge jade eyes shining, hair whipping around, hands gripping…

"Hey! Would you let me go? I can't breathe properly!"

… her best friend's shirt collar. Tightly.

"Gomen! It's just that it's finally here! The first anime fair in our university… absolutely amazing! Sugoi!" Misao let go of Kaoru's shirt, quickly picked up her digital camera, and started taking pictures.

Kaoru cringed, and smiled apologetically at the alarmed cosplayers. She couldn't believe she got dragged into this. Sure, she has her share of anime craze at one point in her life, but her friend was the absolute anime fan. Misao loved everything – from mangas, to series, to movies and live action films. She even liked the rather queer ones like shounen-ai and yaoi. Then again, there was this fairly new manga that she was absolutely going gaga over, a bit over the top even for the likes of her genki friend. What was it again?

"OH MY KAMI-SAMA! It's… it's… KODACHI!"

Oh, right. How could she forget? Kaoru winced. "Anou… I know you're its number one fan Misao, but is screaming out loud necessary?" she whispered sideways through clamped teeth. When no answer came, she wearily looked around and the open space beside her verified her thoughts: that Misao had gone on on her own. She rolled her eyes. It was so typical of her.

She sighed.

Kaoru followed her friend towards the Kodachi booth and upon reaching it, she noticed some sort of commotion at the side. Curious, she tapped the shoulder of an ecstatic Misao asking, "What's going on over there?"

"Hmm… must be some overly hyper fan girls going crazy over a cosplayer who doesn't look anything at all like the character," Misao mumbled and shrugged indifferently as she went over the items up for auction in the stall. Kaoru rolled her eyes yet again. "As if you're not an overly-hyper-fan-girl…"

"Hm? Sorry Kao-chan, I didn't quite get that."

"Nothing," the taller girl retorted. Well, she might as well look at the stuff in the booth too. Besides, she already read the earlier issues of the manga and she can't really blame Misao for going ballistic over it. The idea of an absolutely gorgeous, dark, bishie character from the Meiji era going to the future and killing vampires to seek revenge for the death of his loved one is really appealing. Plus the great art with lots of solo character drawings. Who sane girl can resist?

Apparently, Misao is sane. In this case, too sane to the point of insanity. She sighed.

The topic of Kaoru's thoughts scanned the table full of Kodachi paraphernalia. Misao's head was positively reeling. So many things to buy, not enough money… what was she to do? She reached the end of the booth and her eyes caught on something different amidst the key chains, posters, and manga art.

It was a doll.

She blinked and picked up the figure.

"You like it?"

Misao looked up and blinked. Her blue-green eyes widened as her mind finally registered that the person in front of her was actually…

"Katsu-san! You- you're the author and artist, Katsu-san!"

The long- haired man grinned. "I love it when people blurt out my name. Yep, I'm Katsu, the man with one name. And you are?"

"Makimachi. Makimachi Misao."

"Nice name. Interesting alliteration. I should take note of that."

"You're here! I mean… wow!"

"Yeah, well it IS my booth. Would be kinda weird if I'm not here," he winked. "So, you like that?"

Misao blinked out of her star-struck reverie and looked down at the doll she was holding. It was a doll made of hard plastic and elastic, with muted tones and exquisite details. It depicted the character in mid-action, in a semi-crouching stance with both short and long blades unsheathed and brought up in a graceful position. It was, in a word, mystifying.

"It's beautiful." She finally managed to say out loud. "Who made it?"

"I did, of course," Katsu said quite smugly. "It's one of a kind!"

"I think I'm in love! Great workmanship. I'm a fine arts major myself so I really appreciate a good piece when I see it." She grinned. "Is it for sale?" Oh please let it be for sale…

"A fellow artist, eh? Well, it's up for auction. The starting price is twenty dollars."

"That's not bad at all," Misao said, inspecting the figurine and running her fingers along a dent at the bottom. She brought a whole month's worth of allowance, expecting to buy loads of stuff. She had more than enough for this.

"Yeah, I guess." Katsu scratched his head. "Hey, for all we know, it might be worth ten times in the future. I'm being optimistic."

"Hey Katsu!" a guy frantically called out to the artist. "I think I need your help here…"

"Be right there!" He turned towards Misao. "The auction's at 4 pm, function room 1 if you want it. See ya!" He winked again and left.

"Bye, nice meeting you!" Misao waved at him, grinning. This was certainly her lucky day. She had not only found a piece of art that will possibly make her rich in the future but she also met the author and artist of her favorite manga! Utter bliss.

"Ne, Misao. Misao. Hey Misao!"

"Oh, huh?"

Kaoru raised an eyebrow. She finished browsing around the booth and finally found Misao practically drooling over some doll. "Daydreaming again? Over some doll this time?"

The petite girl became indignant. "This isn't just some doll!" She raised the figure up for her friend to see. "It's a Katsu original, and it's going to be – OUCH!"

Something bumped her at the back. Hard.

The doll flew out of Misao's hand.

Everything became hazy for the jade-eyed girl. In slow motion, she saw the precious figurine flying up, pausing for a moment with the glare of the florescent light behind it, and finally falling down to its imminent doom.

Her lithe body twisted and her braided hair whipped around as she dove for it.

But before her fingers touch its plastic smoothness, another pair of hands caught it in mid-air. She landed rather heavily on the floor, her gaze asphyxiated on the leather-clad hands that held the doll. Her eyes traced the hands up to the arms, shoulders and finally up to the handsome face with cold blue eyes.

_Cold blue eyes. _

Misao gasped. She couldn't believe it. It can't be.

Bishie vampire hunter extraordinaire. An anguished lover bent on revenge. The main character of Kodachi. _Those cold, blue eyes. _

Shinomori Aoshi.

* * *

A/n: Ah, a cliffhanger! Rather exciting, isn't it:D Well, what do you think! Like it? Hate it? Say all in the little review boxes! I shall respond to any questions if you leave your email address. Please read and review! 


	2. Plastic and Elastic

Author's notes: Hullo! Thanks so much for the best reviews! I have a little something for Shinobi Love in here. This chapter tips its hat to the Shinobi Love's February challenge. Let's play a game, shall we? Whoever guesses first the element I placed here for the challenge will win a prize! Hurrah! Ready? GO! (_pops a cork gun)_

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, or the song "Coin Operated Boy" by the Dresden Dolls

_----Made of plastic and elastic/ He is rugged and long-lasting/ Who could ever ever ask for more/ Love without complications galore! ----_

**Coin Operated Boy!**

_By Tesuka- chan _

Chapter 2: Plastic and Elastic

_Those cold, blue eyes. _

She suddenly gasped.

Wide eyes saw a man, uncannily tall, wearing a black sleeveless trench coat, wine-colored v-neck top, tight dark pants, and leather strips wound on his forearm. He looked like a ninja.

_A ninja in the 30th century? Impossible._

That was her last thought before she saw what he was holding. Her last thought before he seemingly vanished and reappeared in front of her, holding the hilts of the two blades sticking out of her back.

She shrieked, her voice high-pitched and coarse, her silver eyes turning to a dull black. Blood filled up her mouth, fangs protruded from her upper lip. Then her screams suddenly halted, and all was silent once again.

He pulled out his bloody swords, flicked the crimson fluids off, and sheathed them behind his back. He was Shinomori Aoshi, the vampire hunter.

This is Kodachi, the story of his revenge.

* * *

**A day before the Anime Convention:**

Aoshi looked at the paper on his hand. It was a copy of a page on Katsu's manga, the first issue of Kodachi. In one of the boxes that occupied half of the page, a man wearing a black, sleeveless trench coat posed in a rather impossible position. He was killing some… vampire thing. He could barely make out the forms. When he asked Sano for a better, clearer copy, his roommate just waved his hands offhandedly and mumbled something about the character being a killing machine and a vengeful lover. He sighed. This was what he got from asking him for a picture of the main character, Shinomori Aoshi.

Oh, and that was another issue.

Why did he ever agree Katsu's request for using his name in the manga?

"_Oi, Shinomori, I'll base my character on ya… how'd ya like that, eh?"_

"_Hn… yeah, what the hell. You can even use my name for all I care…" He grumbled, his head throbbing, limbs heavy. Then Katsu patted him happily on the back and he blacked out. The next day, he had a killer hangover and he swore that he will never drink sake again. _

He sighed yet again. One cup of sake that fateful night. One cup was all it took to ruin his life.

Sake was a killer. Yet another sigh. He should start getting the things that he needed. Now how will he get his hands on some face paint?

* * *

**Present situation:**

Oh, Kami-sama!

Kaoru was frozen to the spot. A Shinomori Aoshi who… who… oh, gods, she can't say it! She can't even think of it properly! This was bad… very, very bad. Misao, the number 1 fan of Kodachi, shouldn't be there on the floor, looking up at him with a stunned expression on her face. Misao, the number 1 fan of Kodachi, should be miles away from this place. Misao, the absolute number 1 fan of Kodachi – nay, of Shinomori Aoshi – shouldn't even be in the same planet as this guy!

He was sooo gonna get it.

Kaoru covered her face with her hands, closed her eyes, and braced herself. Because knowing Misao, as the number 1 fan of Kodachi, she would most probably –

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!"

– criticize that poor man until he hangs himself. Kaoru winced at Misao's outburst. It has begun. She bit her lower lip as she tried to make her way inch by inch towards her frantic friend. But a lot of people already gathered around the scene and she was pushed aside so many times that she found herself at the back of the crowd. Mou! This situation was getting worse! She looked around. She HAS to get to Misao. Or get help. Or bully someone to help. Then she saw him, that guy Misao was talking with earlier.

He'll do.

* * *

_Cold blue eyes. _

Misao gasped. She couldn't believe it. It can't be.

Bishie vampire hunter extraordinaire. An anguished lover bent on revenge. The main character of Kodachi. _Those cold, blue eyes. _

Shinomori Aoshi.

…

…

…

… _OR NOT! THAT IS SO WRONG!_

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!"

She quickly scrambled up, oblivious to the small crowd gathering around them. There was only one thing in her mind at that moment: that abomination who calls himself a cosplayer!

"I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU COULD DO SUCH A CRUEL THING! It's absolutely sacrilegious!" Misao shrieked, looking up at the rather tall man. Sure he got the height and the clothes right, but… but his face! It was too horrible, too cruel. She almost cried right then and there.

The stupid man painted black, white, and red stripes on his face… not to mention a small, pink heart on his left cheek.

"Is this some kind of a sick joke? Well, you've had your fun, mister! If I were you, I'd change and go home before someone kicks your ass for making fun of the best manga, and the best character ever created!" She paused, looked up at him with contempt and saw the doll on his hand. She quickly grabbed it and said, "and you definitely don't have a right to hold or even look at a Katsu original!"

Aoshi was astonished. He looked down at the girl in front of him who looked both indignant and weepy at the same time. Sure it was his fault that her doll fell (as he did bumped into her) but he saved it from being smashed into pieces, didn't he? And she repays him by yelling at him and staring rudely at his face. He raised an eyebrow.

"…"

"What, nothing to say? HA! All the silent ones are guilty!" With that, she turned around and walked away, the crowd parting and closing at her wake.

Aoshi blinked. What the hell just happened?

"Hey, what's going on here – WHOA, Aoshi, my man! What's with the face!" Katsu exclaimed after barging through the crowd. Behind him stood a grinning Sano and a rather perplexed girl.

"Why, what's wrong with my face?"

"Why did you paint it like that!"

"…"

He fished out of his pocket the picture that Sano gave him and handed it over to the bemused Katsu. The artist looked at the page, then at Aoshi. Then he looked at the page again and began to chuckle, which soon gave way to a hard laugh. Sano's grin was wider than ever. The girl beside him mumbled thanks, excused herself, and walked away with her hand covering her mouth, shoulders shaking in concealed mirth. Some people in the crowd began to giggle while others shook their heads and left.

Aoshi's blue eyes narrowed. He did not appreciate being laughed at.

Katsu wiped the tears at the corners of his eyes. "Man, that was a good laugh. Here, wipe that goop off your face," he said and gave him his handkerchief and steered him towards the toilet. "You know, this speaks loads about you. Apparently, you're so obsessive compulsive, dare I say anal, to the point that you even copied the shadows in the picture." He grinned widely, almost identical to Sano's.

Aoshi blinked. Those were shadows?

Sano laughed and patted his friend's back. "Sorry dude, I really wanted to tell you when you came out of the room – " this got him an accusing glare from the ice man, "– really, I did! It was just too rich, you know? It would be such a shame if people didn't see it. I mean, who would ever imagine that the ice man can pull it off?" He grinned mischievously and held up a couple of bills. "Well I did, and I won a wager. Haha! Thanks, man!"

Aoshi dampened the handkerchief and wiped off the face paint. Sano must really want to die. Painfully. Good thing Katsu was there, or he would've punched the stupid grin off the idiot's face. "That's it. I'm done with this."

"Maa, maa…" the artist raised his right hand up, stopping Sano's comments before the situation gets worse. Then he turned to his precious cosplayer while adjusting his rimless glasses.

"You know what your problem is, Aoshi? You totally lack imagination."

"And I care?"

"No, really. Look at it this way. You're great at your academics and your work, that's true, but you're too serious. You're social life is non-existent and your idea of fun is sipping tea while shifting through bills." Katsu exhaled a long-suffering sigh. "I'm really doing you a favor here. You need to loosen up, interact with people –"

"Your point?"

"- and you did sign a contract. And you need the money. And I need a mascot to attract the people who will buy my manga and give me money so I can give YOU money." His so-called friend smiled innocently. "Okay, how about this: just appear at the auction while I bid off my stuff. That's it. You don't have to go out like that before the auction, all right? Plus, Sano will give you half of his winnings."

The rooster sputtered.

"WHAT? NO WAY!"

"That's for humiliating him in public. Give."

"It's not like the ice man FELT humiliated. It's not like he FEELS at all! And I won it fair and square!"

"By using your roommate. Now…"

Sano begrudgingly gave Aoshi half of the bills, sniffed a bit and left. Aoshi smirked. "All right, at the auction." He pocketed the cash. The auction and that's it, he thought. He will never accept any job offerings from Sano again next time, even if he needed the cash. He wiped off the last of the paint on his cheek.

"Thanks, man." Katsu half- turned away and paused, apparently remembering something. "Oh yeah, why did you paint a pink heart on your cheek? I was wondering about that."

"Sano was said something about a vengeful lover. I thought that it would give people a clue about it. I thought you of all people would get it."

The artist laughed, choked and coughed at the same time. "Yeah, my fault." He thumped his chest to ease the cough. He shook his head in amazement and grinned. Aoshi was really something. "Well anyway, I'll see ya later at the auction." He sketched a salute and walked out, closing the door behind him.

Aoshi frowned and gritted his teeth. Just the auction. After that, he's free. Nothing can go wrong there, right?

* * *

"ARGH! I cannot believe the gall of that asshole!" Misao raged on, stomping from one booth to the next. She had been going around the place for over an hour now and at her vexed state, bought everything from key chains to the latest cd album of the Asian Kung-Fu Generation. She was on a vengeful, shopping rampage. 

Her friend, Kaoru, trudged on beside her with traces of humor on her face.

"You know, that asshole you're talking about is not that bad actually. He seems decent under all that make-up." She grinned. It was so much fun to tease Misao.

"What? DECENT? Anyone who does something that cruel must not know the meaning of the word. To mock a work of art like that… it's absolutely UGH!" The enraged girl plopped her purchases on the floor and started making strangling movements with her fingers.

Kaoru rolled her eyes at the antics of her friend. She was always like this when she gets riled up about something. She glanced at her watch, wondering on how much time they spent going around the convention. She looked away, then did a double take. It couldn't be…

"Ne, Misao, what time's the auction again?"

The fine arts student was now punching the air. "4, why?"

"Umm… it's already 5."

"HUWWWAAAAATTTT?"

Misao suddenly stiffened, chagrin written all over her face. Then she grabbed her parcels, clutched her friend's wrist and sped her way toward function room 1, bumping into a lot of people on the way. Misao burst through the door, panting heavily. She quickly got a number from a box, number 204. Oh please, don't let the doll be sold… please…

She looked up and surveyed the room.

It was an informal bidding. There were a lot of people, mostly girls. There was an auctioneer on the stage, and beside him was a table where five covered items were placed, including one shaped like the doll that Misao wanted. A sign on the table said, "Blind items".

Then she saw the auctioneer speaking, and only then did she really hear what he was saying. "80 dollars from the lady in white. 80 dollars for the last, blind item!"

80 dollars! How was she to know if it's the doll?

"80 dollars going once…"

What if it isn't the doll? But it's the last item… and the doll-shaped figure is the last on the right so it makes sense that it might be the doll.

"80 dollars going twice…"

Oh, bugger it! She raised her hand. "85 dollars!"

"85 dollars from the lady in black."

The lady in white demurely raised her number and bid again. "90 dollars."

She glared at the back of white-lady. "100 dollars!"

"105 dollars."

"150 dollars!"

_Oh crap. 150 dollars? Am I insane?_

There was a collective murmur and a few whistles from the audience. Even the auctioneer raised his eyebrows. "Very well, 150 dollars from the lady in black. Madame white?" He asked white-lady. Misao glared at her back so hard that she could've bored a hole on it. White-lady stiffened, as if she felt the gaze, and shook her head. The lady in black grinned triumphantly.

"150 dollars going once, 150 dollars going twice, sold to number 204!"

Misao cheered, did a little dance and patted her almost-forgotten friend beside her who was still catching her breath from the sprint. The genki girl couldn't believe it… she won! She got the doll at last!

"All winners, please pay at the table beside the stage."

She was the first to arrive. However, they were giving out the none-blind items first so she had to wait a few minutes for her turn. By the time they called her number, she was in a high state of euphoria and excitement. This was it… she was going to own that Shinomori Aoshi doll… she will never let it go…

"Number 163, please wait a moment. Number 204. Please pay and sign here." As she paid and signed, she kept on looking at the covered figure on the table. It was finally going to be hers…

The assistant at the counter picked up the doll-shaped, covered figure. Misao reached out her hands, excitement flowing through her veins. She could see it, see it being carried to the counter, see it going towards her, see it going away... going away? NO! NO! It's hers! Why is it going away!

She was about to follow the assistant to demand and explanation when someone called out to her, "Makimachi-san? Here's your item!" Misao turned towards the speaker with a confused look on her face. Another assistant was smiling broadly and handed her a piece of paper.

She paid 150 goddamn bucks for a paper.

Stunned, she accepted it and vaguely heard the assistant calling someone from the back. She couldn't believe it. A piece of paper. Is it pure gold? Can she sell it for a thousand dollars? How can things get any worse? She was staring at it blankly when someone appeared in front of her.

She looked up.

He looked down.

"You!" both said simultaneously.

"Congratulations!" the assistant exclaimed excitedly. "The last blind item is a date with THE Shinomori Aoshi!"

"WHAT?" Both exclaimed.

"I DID NOT BID FOR THIS!"

"Where's Katsu? I'm going to kill him."

"THIS IS ALL A MISTAKE!"

"I was certainly not informed beforehand."

"I WANT MY MONEY BACK!"

The poor assistant raised her hands in defeat. "Anou... that paper says it all. Non-refundable... last blind item..." She shrank under the terrifying stares of the two. "And ummm... Katsu's away so... I've got to go!" She sped away so fast it was as if she vanished into thin air.

This was not happening. She did NOT just pay 150 bucks for a date with a stupid cosplayer! Misao stared at the paper on her hand and turned it over. It says: A date with Shinomori Aoshi at the Akabeko.

She looked up and glared at the man. He glared back.

One thing's for sure. This was not going to be your typical date.

----------

Somewhere in the background, a lady in white walked happily away with a doll, whispering "Kamatari oka-san will take care of you, honey bun!"

* * *

THE END. 

...JUST KIDDING.

A/n: Mwahahahaha! My evilness comes forth once again! What do you think? Please read and review!


	3. Shapes and Weights

Author's notes: Darn, I got stuck. Sorry for the delay. Thanks a bunch for the reviews! Oh, by the way, the Kodachi manga I mentioned here is something I made up. I'm not sure if there's a manga existing with the same title but if there is, I wasn't referring to that. There, hope that's clear. On with the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin and its characters, or the song "Coin Operated Boy" by the Dresden Dolls.

_----Many shapes and weights to choose from/ I will never leave my bedroom/ I will never cry at night again/ Wrap my arms around him and pretend...----  
_

**Coin Operated Boy!**

_By Tesuka- chan_

Chapter 3: Shapes and Weights  


She sipped her coke.

He sipped his tea.

Misao grabbed the menu from the table and glared at it as if it was the only thing that will be able to save her from the end of the world. She risked a glance at him and noted that his face was averted, stoic eyes looking coolly at the fascinating scene inside the kitchen, their table being nearest to the service areas. He was still wearing that costume, and if he ever felt uncomfortable wearing it, it didn't show.

He wears it well, she'll give him that. And his eyes... just a shade darker and it will be exactly like the character's eyes. The shape of his face is right too… She blinked, realized what she just thought of and bit the inside of her lip to stop that particular train of thought. Who cares anyway? She doesn't. Why should she care about a man who massacres a work of art?

She went back to glaring at the menu.

She wasn't supposed to be here, in front of him, choosing from a selection of tempuras. She was supposed to be back at her dorm, happily going over her purchases from the anime fair, dammit!

How did she end up here at the Akabeko, having a date with a Shinomori-Aoshi- wannabe anyway!

* * *

**Thirty minutes ago…**

"I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO HAVE A DATE WITH YOU!"

"Likewise."

"It's good that you agree with me then! So, where's my 150 dollars?"

The cosplayer narrowed his eyes at the haughty girl with the outstretched arm.

"Hey, I need to be compensated for my loss. Cough it up, will you? I don't have all day."

"That's not my problem," he said and started to turn away. Misao's eyes widened. The absolute NERVE of the guy!She quickly placed herself in front of him, hands on her waist, a determined chin up. "Well, it happens to be MY problem that is connected to YOU. Since we BOTH agreed that we do not want to go to this date, YOU should give me at least 75 dollars, half the original loss."

"…"

"That or you get me another doll."

"No." He started to walk again towards the changing rooms.

"And why not?" Misao demanded, halting him yet again. She will not budge until he gives in. 150 dollars down the drain? Not if she can help it.

"Because you're the one who bid for it without knowing what it is you're bidding for," he said with a sidelong glance at her, "and because I'm the victim here."

Misao's teeth clenched. So what if what he said was true?

Jade clashed with Ice. It was an uncanny, yet amusing sight – a petite woman glaring at a much taller man.

And then, "it" came.

"It" – the screaming, squirming, moving mass of human flesh molded into one – was heading towards their direction. "It" was wearing high school uniforms and armed with cameras and polaroids. "It" was led by a certain rooster-haired man who waved a fist-full of bills and pointed towards the cosplayer.

The glaring battle forgotten, both looked at the incoming "it"; she with an astonished and alarmed expression on her face, he with a palpable aura of anger and perhaps a tinge of fear emanating from his form.

"Oh my god! Over there!"

"It's him!"

"IT'S SHINOMORI AOSHI!"

That last squeal almost burst Misao's eardrums. They were coming, and they were coming fast. She had to get out of here… but "It" was already surrounding the both of them! There's no stopping them now, it was too late! What was she to do? She glanced at the man beside her and for a moment she thought he had a look of helplessness in his face. But it was gone in a blink, replaced by a cold mask of anger. She cringed as a high-pitched voice yelled right beside her. Her hand fisted, and she felt the paper crumbling in it.

She had an idea.

Misao – with a little difficulty and a lot of pushing and shoving – raised her fingers to her mouth, let in a breath and whistled loudly.

"It" looked at her.

"Okay, now that I've got your attention, I have an offer to make," she felt a cold gaze directed at her, but she ignored it and raised her hand that was holding the paper. "Each of you has a chance to have a date with the one and only Shinomori Aoshi, given the right price!"

A series of squeals and screams was heard throughout the place. A janitor from afar started praying after hearing the terrifying noises. Wolves from the nearby zoo started to howl and birds flew away from the treetops. It was a horrible sound indeed.

"All right, ALL RIGHT!" Misao's ears were ringing. "QUIET PLEASE and BACK OFF! You don't want your _dear _Shinomori Aoshi to suffocate, don't you? Just take a step backward… you! Back off a little, will ya? Yeah you with the… uh… uniform. I mean… just step back! All right, let's start the bidding shall we?"

Misao grinned. She was a genius! Not only will she be able to have a chance to get out of this mob alive, but she may even get her money back, earn a little more, and get rid of the stupid idiot beside her. It was perfect.

However, for the tall man beside her clad in leather strips and pants, it was not perfect. It was hell. He absolutely will not let this happen. He won't be able to stand sitting alone with a high school kid drooling over him for a minute, let alone an hour. He cannot let this happen. He will NOT let this happen. Oh, and Sano WILL be evicted from HIS room, but that was a small irritation to be solved later. As for this moment, he had to do something.

He saw that troublesome girl raise her hand with the piece of paper clutched in it. That's it… that paper. Cerulean eyes narrowed.

"Okay, shall we start from 150 dollars?" Misao was on top of the table now, feeling on top of the world.

"Oh,150! Here!" A girl with a headband screamed.

"200 dollars!" Another yelled.

"Um, 207 dollars and… 50 cents!" a rather chubby girl shrieked.

This was going way better than she thought! Now if only the person whose life she's ruining won't run away… speaking of which! Long braid whipped around as she quickly glanced at the spot where "Shinomori Aoshi" was. He's gone! She scanned the area for him when…

"I'll take this." Something grabbed her wrist and tugged.

She was falling, no, she was flying and "It" was heaving a collective gasp and became a blur… then, oh! Why was the door rushing towards her? Strange… oh, was she really flying? And why was her wrist starting to ache and what was that strange dark blob in front of her? Oh look, the sky!

Then it all stopped, and poor Misao found herself sitting on the sidewalk, blinking.

Um, what just happened?

She looked around and saw that the dark blob was actually the stupid cosplayer. He was crouched down on the pavement and was looking back at the building behind them. And he was still holding her wrist.

"Hey, are you done with that?" She said sarcastically, pointing to her hand. The cosplayer looked at her with a kind of surprised look, as if wondering why she was there. He looked down at their hands, blinked, and let go. The miffed girl winced and rubbed her wrist. Miracle of miracles, she was still holding the paper and – thank goodness – her purchases.

"I was aiming for the paper."

WHAT! "Oh, and you just happened not to notice the girl that came with it!" Misao vehemently exclaimed.

He gave her a sidelong glance and was about to speak when they heard a series of shrieks and shouts. "It" was after them.

Without a word, both stood up and ran.

* * *

They were lucky that the Akabeko was near the university. Once cosplayer man saw the sign, he grabbed the protesting girl, went inside, showed the coupon to the astonished manager and practically hid at the deepest, darkest corner of the restaurant. They saw a glimpse of the high-school-girls-stampede, passing by the window of the restaurant. They were safe. 

And now, Misao was pissed off, ravenous, and getting ready to bite the cosplayer's head off, and then some.

She glared at the menu, seeing red.

Jade eyes peeped over the edge of the menu and saw the man in front of her still observing the kitchen activities. The silence between them was killing her.

"Are you ready to order?" The bright smile of the waitress was sickening. Everyone should be angry with her!

"Two Ebi Tempura box set, two orders of California Maki, two mixed sashimi set and two plates of gyozas." She glanced at the cosplayer. "Aren't you going to order?"

Unable to hide her surprise, the waitress almost broke her pencil in half.

"No."

Misao turned back to the waitress and said, "that's it. Oh, and please add two boxes of mochi balls. Green tea."

"Yes ma'm." Somehow, when the waitress left, her bright smile wasn't so bright anymore.

The petite girl sighed and sipped more of her coke. She started drumming her fingers against the table. To spite him, she stared at him for quite some time. But still, there he was sitting oh-so-calmly with no expression on his face whatsoever. The kitchen was noisy but for Misao, the atmosphere was too quiet. She never really could stand the silence. She could never bear it for long.

"You should've just let me bid off the coupon."

"…"

"That way, I would've gotten my money back and you would have had a date with a young girl in a high school uniform! Isn't that the fantasy of all men?"

"…"

This was getting frustrating. It's like talking to an ice block.

"Alright cosplayer, what's your name?"

He finally looked at her indifferently and sipped his tea. For a while, she thought he wouldn't answer her, then he said, "Shinomori Aoshi."

Misao snorted.

"Oh, this is rich! Are you still in that fantasy world? HELLO! Wake up! You're in the real world now. Stop fucking around. I'm asking you a simple question: What's your name?"

He raised an eyebrow at the profanity she mentioned. "That is my real name."

She wanted to scream. She laughed instead. "Right, right. Okay, I'll go along with you. So you're THE Shinomori Aoshi, vampire hunter extraordinaire. You came from the Meiji Era and you're here to avenge the death of your lover."

There was something about this girl that made Aoshi want to tease her and say yes, he was all that. He almost smiled. Almost. He didn't answer her, just watched her go on and on, reluctantly amused.

"Okay then, on to the personal stuff." The girl tapped her finger on her chin, brow furrowed in thought. He sipped his tea. "You're 26, your birthday is on January, height is six feet flat, weight is one hundred and sixty pounds, black hair, blue eyes, blood type A. You like green tea and the color blue."

Shinomori Aoshi, vampire hunter extraordinaire and all of the above poured more tea.

"You're a master of kenpou and your technique is the Nitou Ryuu. After a while, you learned to use the two kodachis, the Kodachi Nitouryu," Misao finished. Damn this guy. He didn't even bat an eyelash. "So that's who you are, huh?"

The waitress saved him from answering as she came and served the food. The girl literally dove in the food and started gobbling everything up.

"Know what, truth is, you look nothing like him." Kami-sama, she just won't shut up even while eating. He watched her chew, swallow (or tried to), almost choke, and drink a whole glass of coke while thumping her chest. It was fascinating, like discovering a new kind of species. Then she spoke again while working her way through the next bento box. "You're eyes are too light, your nose is too big, and your chin is too long."

And your butt is too sexy in those leather pants, she thought. Startled at that sudden revelation, she swallowed a little too fast. Where did that come from? She started attacking the mochi balls.

"…"

She finished the last of her dessert and sat back, her appetite sated. She watched him under lidded eyes; he, infuriatingly indifferent and calm while sipping his tea. She wanted to break it, his smug calm and his fantasy world. He had no right to BE Shinomori Aoshi. After a while, she grinned as an idea popped in her head.

"Say… let's talk about your kodachi." There was an evil gleam in those blue-green eyes. "It's _shorter_ and _softer_ than a normal katana. Why do you use it? A katana is much more practical since it is LONGER and so much HARDER than two kodachis. Does it give you… pleasure when you use it in your… practice? Tell me, do you think the number compensates for the lack of length?"

Shinomori Aoshi, vampire hunter extraordinaire, spurted tea out of his mouth.

She turned to him, eyes shining with 'innocence'. She was finally enjoying this so-called date of hers. "Oh my, whatever were you thinking? I was just asking about your tool, your weapon."

He wiped the tea off his mouth. This girl was… he shook his head. It's been a long time since a girl affected him this much. Come to think of it, it's been a long time since anyone affected him this much.

"You talk too much."

"Why thanks, that's a given fact actually."

"What's your name?"

"Oh, silly me, where's my manners? Makimachi Misao at your service! Fine Arts student, 20 years old and number one kodachi fan." Mischievous green eyes narrowed as she said, "that's why I could never forgive you for what you did to Shinomori Aoshi, _Aoshi-sama._"

He stared at her for a while, eyes assessing and coldly calculating.

"Fine arts. Do you do caricatures?"

Misao snorted. "Do I? Do you breathe? Does the sun rises on the east and sets on the west?"

"I'll give you your money back. Meet me at the school newspaper's office tomorrow at 5 pm."

Green eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What if I have a class?"

"Do you?"

"No."

"Then it's settled."

Aoshi stood up and left a small tip on the table. "Don't be late." He walked away, not noticing the stares of the women from the other tables. He stopped outside, looked at the direction of where "It" headed and went to the other direction.

What the heck was that? Misao fumed. That high-handed, egocentric, yummy-assed bastard! Geesh. She couldn't believe that a guy like him exists! He was so… UGGGH! And so… ARGHH!

Dammit.

Not to mention really hot. And it was fun the way she was able to crack him. She smiled, feeling smug. Well, tomorrow at 5pm, she will get her money to buy a katsu original (somehow) and will never see him again.

Good riddance to Shinomori Aoshi.

And now, shewill go home,finally get toenjoyher purchases and will call... Oh holy crap. Kaoru.

* * *

"DAMMIT MISAO! YOU LEFT ME AGAIN!" Kaoru wailed at the empty function room. 

The janitor outside, hearing another terrifying sound, finally gave up and decided to retire the next day.

* * *

A/n: but is it really 'good riddance'? MWAHAHAHAHA! Things are getting interesting… ;) 

To explain Misao's rather unusual hatred, remember that she's in love with the character of the manga and is annoyed at Shinomori Aoshi wanna-be's because they couldn't live up to the character. But even though she really wants to hate the real Aoshi, she couldn't help but like him because he's so much like the character (Duh, Katsu based it on him… but she doesn't know that :D). Therein lies her conflict of interest and our plot.

So, any questions? Violent reactions? Say it all at the review box!


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